“Hey, would you help me…”

Say this to children, and you will usually get an enthusiastic, “Sure.”

If you get a negative reaction, I can think of several possible causes off the top of my head:

• It feels imposed rather than offered as an opportunity.
• It’s a job you hate and, therefore, you are actually taking advantage of them.
• They feel singled out, and not for greatness.
• They need a little seducing.
• You might have caught them at a bad time, in which case you might consider saying something like, “Would there be a better time for you?” (Next time you will be more sensitive to the mission they are on.)
• You have already made the mistake of giving the lecture on social obligations, and said something stupid like: “You kids! All you ever want is rights. You have to learn that for every right there is a responsibility.” Maybe, they sense that your request was not really in the free will department, but more in the obedience department.
• They know you think they are selfish.

Beth, a kindergarten teacher at one of my schools, once said: “I see any unused ability in my classroom as an incipient behavior problem,” and she understood the natural empathy in children to be her greatest resource.

I read in the blogosphere that parents should teach children empathy. No, we shouldn’t. Children have empathy; the best way to educate it is to utilize it. Read More…

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